A Life of Luxury and the Search for Meaning
Niki Gifford, a 60-year-old woman from Woburn Sands in Bedfordshire, once lived what many would consider a dream life. For five years, she embraced a lifestyle filled with luxury, endless parties, and the excitement of the Far East. However, it wasn’t until she returned to England that she realized what she truly wanted.
Gifford was the rebel among her peers. After graduating from an all-girls high school in the early 1980s, she was determined to carve out a career for herself. “Of the 60 girls in my year, 59 quickly married and had children after school – but not me,” she said. Her ambition led her into the world of sports marketing and advertising, where she made a name for herself.
At the age of 30, she was offered a chance to open a major gallery in Singapore. “I wanted out of the rat race in London,” she explained. She took the job, thinking she would return home if things didn’t work out. But what started as a temporary move turned into a five-year stay in the Far East.
The Expat Lifestyle
Singapore, according to Gifford, was an “exotic” and “exciting” place. As an expat, she enjoyed a generous salary, a nice apartment, a driver, and a maid. “Your washing is cleaned, meals cooked, and drivers take you where you need to go. Everything is handed to you on a silver platter,” she said. This kind of lifestyle made her feel spoiled, living a sort of fairytale life.
She spent most of her time in Singapore, but often traveled to Indonesia to curate art shows. With wealthy clients buying artwork from the galleries she opened, she found herself in an amazing social circle. “We had full moon celebrations on the beach, water skiing races, polo, sailing, and endless expat parties,” she recalled. “The food and weather were fantastic.”
This lifestyle had a “Wolf of Wall Street” vibe, with well-paid expats letting their hair down and splashing their money around. However, despite the fun, Gifford often felt a creeping sense of loneliness. Many of her expat friends were constantly moving, and she had no partner to share her adventures with.
A Crossroads and a Decision
In 2000, Gifford reached a crossroads. She had to decide whether to remain in Singapore as a “lifer” or return to England. “I decided to come home,” she said. “I wanted to settle down and come back to reality.”
While she doesn’t regret her time in the Far East — “it gave me confidence, resilience, and a global mindset” — she wonders if she should have stayed for just two years instead of five. When she returned, she found that all her friends were married and had children. “I thought I’d been having the best life, but then I realized I had missed an opportunity to have my own children.”
Gifford met her now-husband in 2001, and they married when she was 42. By the time she was ready to have children, “it was too late,” she said. “I don’t have regrets about Singapore and Indonesia, but I would have loved to have had my own children.”
A New Chapter
Although Gifford has no regrets about her career, she asks herself: “But what do you want your legacy to be?” She believes that if she had continued as a “lifer” in Singapore, she would never have experienced the joy of settling down with a family. “I don’t think I would have felt as fulfilled as I do now.”
Upon returning to England, Gifford immediately felt at home. She now lives with her family in Surrey, west of London. “I love the four seasons, the quirkiness and humor of the Brits, just the sheer Britishness of everything,” she said. “And we have all these wonderful traditions – the Boat Race, Chelsea Flower Show, Ascot, and Wimbledon. I had missed the culture – museums, opera, and art.”
Singapore was seamless and smooth, perfect. England is a real contrast. Gifford feels very happy to be back in old Blighty. Having her family brought a new meaning to her life. “It was a pivotal moment when he came to live with us. When you’re an expat, you can become selfish, doing only what you want to do. Having this adorable son come to live with you, and thinking about someone other than yourself, it changed everything.”
